The Bigger Picture

This week has been rough, put into few words. My family has gone through everything you could possibly think of...not only the death of my grandma. Yet, the bigger picture is still there, and it's amazing to see the ultimate plan that has come out of this week. At least with myself... I had to deal and get serious with a lot of things in my life, and I finally was unblinded this week about it.

So now the focus of this week is to make sure my grandpa is taken care of. I think that is what helps me get over what has gone down this week. I leave Friday for a trip to the East Coast with the girls, which will be hard. I have realized that I am a person who thrives on taking care of people (this may be why I was called to be a teacher as well), and that is how I handle things. If I don't have to sit and think, and instead take care of others, things go a lot better.

Thank you so much to everyone who has been praying for my family. We have felt your prayers and have needed them now more than ever. Each day is a new day, and this is still so fresh to us. But we know she is in a much better place and before the One she always wanted to see face to face. :)

Not the second entry I had hoped for...

This morning/last night contained a mixture of feelings.

I was awoken this morning at 12:30 a.m. by the sound of my dad pounding on my door saying get to the hospital, your grandma is on the way. Now, this is not new...my grandma has had 4 previous heart attacks, and 3 here in Marion, so I was familiar with throwing on my glasses in my pajamas and flying down Spencer Avenue going 70 mph and not stopping at stop signs. But this time was different. This time I saw her being wheeled while someone was performing CPR. I saw them spend 20 minutes in the ER doing everything they could to revive her. It was too difficult to watch, so I stood outside... She passed away this morning. The crazy thing was, two hours before, we were playing a mean game of dominoes together while my dad fried a bunch of fish he had caught. It was awesome and we had so much fun. The other crazy thing was, today was my grandparent's 52nd wedding anniversary. And she was only 67.

My grandma was an amazing person. She was the one who led me to Christ. She was the one who made me go to church, watched me get baptized, encouraged me to spread the gospel to my parents, came to all of my concerts--middle school, high school, college, and even my first choir concert at OH and the graduation at OH. Though she was stubborn, and sometimes we fought (because we were so much alike), I loved her more than words could say. She was a beautiful person. I was angry for about 2 minutes after they pronounced her gone. But then this overwhelming peace came over me--a peace that only God could give. She was in a much better place. There is no one in my family that I could have been more sure of that was ready for this than her.

So pray for our family. Allen is in PA with Brother's Keeper, and we are still trying to get ahold of him. We have family nationwide...and if you know the story of my family...they are not easy to get ahold of. But mostly pray for my grandpa. I had only seen him cry once before--when he gave Tiff away at her wedding. Tonight I saw the second time... And pray for my mom. My mom was my grandma's strong rock. My mom was there for her for everything...and she depended a lot on my mom. Now my mom doesn't know what to do. I could not imagine losing my mom...and this is hard enough.

Aaaand, I'm back...for real...

So, once again, it has been quite a while and a lot has changed...

1. I'm no longer a substitute teacher! I have a contract for the Fall to teach choir!
2. I've lost 30 lbs since January, and am still dropping...
3. I have a puppy named Sir Barkley who is a little over 5 months...
4. I'm staying in Marion (probably)

So yes...those are the major things...and I'm sure there will be even more updates, since I am currently job-less until I find a summer job. :)

Interviews...

I had my first interview today at a high school. I thought it went okay...I was running late, and the whole time I was driving I had DL's voice running through my mind saying "early is on time and on time is late!"... I made it there in 50 minutes, giving me 8 minutes extra time. It was pretty stinking amazing. God definitely spared me on that one...

I guess I'm just to the point where I don't know where I want to go. I have all of these open opportunities...if I get this job (which I am to find out in the next 24-48 hours if so), then that would be amazing. However, if I do not get it, that's okay. It just means I'll sub for an entire semester...make less money...but have more time. More time to commit to preparing for getting an actual teaching job. I have felt rushed the past few days, with graduation on Saturday and my interview today. I almost felt unprepared. But God knows what I am to do, so we'll see what happens.

If I do not get this job, where would I look? A few options...schools in northern Indy might be a possibility. There might be a local one opening up... Perhaps I'll look in the FW, or even northeast IN. But I do know I'm staying on the top half of Indiana for now.

Well, back to watching the IWU basketball game...I'm here at the RWC working a few hours for Jill. She thought she had gotten rid of me! Ha! I really want to see how the Colts are doing...but I'm scared to look. Everytime I look or watch them, they lose. I want my Colts to win. :)

I'm a graduate!!!!!!! Crazy to imagine, eh???

Here's the update...I'm tired, so this won't be too long.

I have an interview on Monday morning for a 9-12 choral position. This would be AMAZING to get...it would be a little under an hour of a commute, but I'm okay with that. It would be an awesome opportunity....but I know there are a lot of people applying for this job, since it is the only one open right now. Pray for me!

Today was such a monumental moment... I am the first one in my family to graduate from college. My grandparents told me stories I had never heard of...such as them flying to Manhattan to anoint my mom when she found out she was pregnant. It's crazy to think about how I wasn't even supposed to live. It's amazing the legacy God has let me have, for a baby that was supposed to be aborted. For one who was supposed to have huge developmental challenges. God truly healed me in my mother's womb, so I know He has great things for me. I'm glad to have made my parents proud, and continue to do so. I really am living proof of God's mercy and grace. :) That was my thought today after graduation...that and I need to find a job. Hahahaha...

Well, off to sleep.

I'm so close!!!!

In less than 48 hours, I'll be home. It's crazy to think how fast this semester has flown...or the fact that I am graduating. Absolutely crazy.

It's also amazing the path that God has led me down this semester. What I thought I was to do with my life after graduation has drastically changed. I will not be staying down here in southern Indiana. Some have called me nuts for it and have said I may be making the biggest mistake of my life. However, I don't believe so. One of the biggest things I have experienced while down here is God teaching me how to say no and knowing it's okay. It's time to think about where I am called to be at and where He has for me, not just an open door that happens to be there.

It's called being independent. I can no longer depend on anything but the assurance that God knows what I am to do. I know that I am called to teach secondary music right now...but where? Not sure. Northern Indiana? More than likely. I never thought I would say I miss Marion, but I do. One reason is because of the location to those that mean the most to me. Another would be that I have experienced a completely different culture down here, and I miss my roots. I know God is calling me to something big...to turn down an offer like I had was one of the hardest things I have done in my life. Yet, I am anticipating what the future holds in the next few months...

The things I wish and pray for aren't necessarily good for me...and only One knows what is. :)

Funny recollection...

This picture made me remember a certain other picture from another post...

http://kinkycrazysidearm.blogspot.com/2005_01_01_archive.html
Scroll down to the 22nd...oh the joys of Junior year and the flying pigs.

Happy Holidays from your favorite curly-haried Kinky!

I passed!!!!!

It's official...

I passed my defense with flying colors...an absolute perfect score. As Adela stated, "I got an O for outstanding!". I only missed three points total on my portfolio...so overall I still made the highest rating. A huge relief that it is all over.

All over. Crazy to think about. I picked up my cap and gown and excessive tassels today. Tried to apply for a job today as well, but just ended up with a lot of unsure questions for DL. Perhaps I shall accomplish that tomorrow...besides, tonight is a freebee. I have an inservice all day @ New Albany...no preparation required. :) It feels good to be done. :)